365 Nice Things

Mar 22-Apr 25: Days 134-?

365nicethings — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 04:33:28 +0000

I haven’t been writing, but I have stayed on program. It’s actually not that hard to do one nice thing a day, and it’s become rote for me to think about it now. I think I’ll try to make it a habit that I keep doing, even after this year is up. Today I donated money to a charity. Yesterday, I babysat for a friend. The day before that, I took a co-worker’s crap shift as a favor and also volunteered to be the person who organized dinner orders for everyone. I can’t remember farther back than that, but I have definitely done something nice every day. I actually didn’t do anything today and was in bed trying to fall asleep when I realized it. I got up, made an online donation to Camfed, and then decided to update the blog. I stopped updating because there is so little to report. My life, at the moment, is on a pretty boring track. Maybe it’s my fault. I am just out of ideas for things to do. I tried applying for new jobs, but I haven’t been able to get hired anywhere, so I’m now in the process of coming up with next steps. I suppose there is still time left for this year to surprise me… or maybe I need to up the stakes and start doing two nice things a day.

Mar 13-21: Days 125-133

365nicethings — Mon, 22 Mar 2010 01:19:30 +0000

It’s been forever since I’ve updated (and hopefully I can even remember the things I did), but I have kept on track (even if barely on some days when I sort of had to count things that weren’t perfect).

Mar 13

I bought someone an ice cream.

Mar 14

I had the idea (with a friend) to buy a homeless guy breakfast (we even took his order!)

Mar 15

I was eating some chips, passed a homeless guy, offered them to him, and gave them away when he wanted them.

Mar 16

I volunteered to help high school students with the SAT.

Mar 17

I offered my seat to someone on the subway (she said no).

Mar 18

This is the day that was a bit of a stretch because I was in an awful mood and not a great place. I wanted to go to yoga but stayed late to accommodate someone at work. On the one hand, it’s my job. On the other hand, my boss didn’t tell me to stay, so it was my decision to do so. I therefore count it as a nice thing, even though I feel badly that it is by far my weakest nice thing to date…

Mar 19

I saw a woman struggling with a suitcase on the subway stairs and offered to help her (she said no, but I still tried!).

Mar 20

I went with my mentee on a tour of the city.

Mar 21

I took time out of my day to advise someone below me at work on his project.

Mar 9-12: Days 121-124

365nicethings — Sat, 13 Mar 2010 03:41:28 +0000

Wow, are we really into Month 5??? Hard to believe it has almost been half a year… I’m glad that I am still going strong, though I repeat my earlier complaint about myself that I don’t push it as far as I could (and I certainly am NOT nice to people every time that the opportunity arises). Still…

Mar 9

I tried to help this woman get her son through a turnstile at the DMV (ultimately futile, but I still stopped to help instead of walking by).

Mar 10

I brought someone working late a can of soup (as a joke that you can also turn into dinner).

Mar 11

I brought a friend donut holes.

Mar 12

I donated to a friend who was doing a sporting event for a cause.

Mar 6-8: Days 118-120

365nicethings — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 17:22:23 +0000

Another good motivational song:

Keep On Walking ">

I have, overall, been doing better I think, but then I do things that Ithink maybe i have become used to but which clearly aren’t normal. Example: last night I turn down plans because I say I am going to come home and go to yoga. Then I decide I am too tired to go to yoga (to be fair, I have been a little sick), so I lie down in bed for a bit to refresh myself for yoga. Long story short, I end up in bed for most of the night just lying there, and then I end up listening to old Church music on youtube just starting at the ceiling. So, maybe not PERFECTLY recovered, but who is? Who among us is immune from occasional bouts of sadness, disappointment over the ways in which our lives have not lived up to their apparent promise. Alright, enough maudlin reflection:

Mar 6

I gave a friend a little present for no real reason.

Mar 7

I took the little girl I mentor to a dance performance.

Mar 8

You know when someone asks you to do them a favor that is relatively small but nonetheless requires you to get up and walk someone you don’t really want to walk? Instead of saying no, I said yes and took the 10 minutes away from my desk.

Mar 1-5: Days 113-117

365nicethings — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 04:03:33 +0000

Something interesting that I’ve been noticing is all the nice things I choose NOT to do (like the times in the subway when I don’t want to give up my seat, or when I see someone struggling with a heavy bag, but I don’t offer to help, etc. Sometimes the omissions are worse than others, but it’s almost like I should have a tally where my nice thing has to somehow outweigh all my un-nice things… I suppose none of us really live up to our potential to be good people or to help everytime we could help, but now that I am focusing on doing a nice thing a day, I notice it more because I will sometimes choose not to take an opportunity that could satisfy my quota for the day because I don’t want to be THAT nice. And, some days my nice thing is nicer than on other days. Sometimes I do more than one thing that could meet the quota and other days I don’t really do something super nice, and I have a hard time even writing it down (like, REALLY? That’s the best you can come up with???) I also think it’s sad that I have to make this a special project. Ideally, we would all be living lives where we are doing at least one nice thing per day…

Mar 1

I think there is a special place in hell for people who pee all over toilet seats and leave it there. I wiped up a seat that I had the misfortune to sit upon to spare someone else the same fate (it was of course disgusting, so I count it as a nice act for all women using public restrooms!)

Mar 2

I volunteered to tutor high school kids on the SAT. I also retrieved some guy’s Metro card that he dropped and ran after him to return it to him.

Mar 3

I mailed a little present to a friend.

Mar 4

I went to a charity event. Not sure if it counts as a nice thing to buy a ticket to a charity event, but since the money goes to charity, I am counting it (this is one of the things that I am counting b/c I can’t think of anything else I did, but I wish I had been nicer. I did go to a diner with a friend and encouraged him to give an extra big tip to the waiter, but I myself did not pay for said tip, so I don’t know if my encouragement to that end counts as a nice act…

Mar 5

I made a donation in memory of a friend who died to a program that helps at-risk kids.

Day 112: Feb 28

365nicethings — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 04:57:16 +0000

Another piece of facebook wisdom:

Life is too short to wake up with regrets.
So love the people who treat you right.
Love the ones who don’t just because you can.
Believe everything happens for a reason.
If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands.
If it changes your life, let it.
Forgive quickly.
God never said life would be easy.
He just promised it would be worth it

Not actually sure that God ever promised life would be “worth it” (is that Old Testament?), but it’s still a nice thought. I’ve become stuck on that Iyaz song called Replay (haha, oh the irony that I replay it incessantly!). I am starting to really visualize myself leaving NYC (the end is near, it seems), which is making me feel a lot better. Not necessarily jump for joy happy but definitely not crying myself to sleep anymore. Is it the project? I guess we’ll never know…

Feb 28

I tried to help this old man in front of me at Walgreens pack up his groceries, but he didn’t want my help. Then I gave half my sandwich to a friend to give to a homeless person (we didn’t see one, but my friend knew of one he would pass on his way home–hopefully my sandwich actually found its way somewhere useful!)

Feb 23-27: Days 107-111

365nicethings — Sun, 28 Feb 2010 04:40:19 +0000

I saw this message on facebook of all places: “God wants you to know that it’s time you let go. Yes, of course, you want to control so everything happens in just the way you want it. But at the end of the day, we control nothing, – it’s all in God’s hands, – has always been, and will always be. So, do what you can, and then let go, and let God handle the rest.” It does seem that in the end we control very little and can only do our best and try to move forward (though whether things actually happen is out of our ultimate control). The job search makes that point very clearly: you can apply and apply and apply but ultimately you have no control over whether something works out, and since most of us need to work to survive, we can’t really move places unless we can find work. On the flip side though, if we believe God does have a plan for us, then it all works out for a reason. So far, I have no idea if my job search is going well. It’s really hard to know if people like you or not during interviews and whether you are saying the right things, etc. I guess I’ll know soon…

Feb 23

I bought a friend a Diet Coke.

Feb 24

I brought in a cupcake for the receptionist.

Feb 25

I gave a taxi driver a $10 tip.

Feb 26

I bouight a bag of cookies to share with a friend.

Feb 27

I actually sat on the plane to let the people with connections get off first (normally I am too impatient to do this).

Feb 20-22: Days 104-106

365nicethings — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 14:02:32 +0000

I’m starting to interview for jobs on the west coast. I feel a little bittersweet about it. There is almost a weird competitive thing you get about NYC because it has the reputation as such a tough place to make it, and you almost want to prove that you are a match for the city, that it can’t break you. Except it becomes sort of a cut off your nose to spite your face situation because I do think that NYC isn’t the right place for everyone. Still, it’s hard to make a huge change in one’s life. You never know if you will actually be moving forward or backward, and there are huge trade-offs (for example, it’s unlikely I will like my new job as much as the job I currently have, but I can only do this job in NYC). Still, I think we all have to be brave enough to make big changes, especially when we’re unhappy.

Feb 20

I brought a friend a bottle of wine.

Feb 21

I bought a friend a tea.

Feb 22

I gave a homeless woman a dollar.

Feb 17-19: Days 101-103

365nicethings — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 00:05:02 +0000

It’s hard to accept that you can’t manipulate life into being what you want it to be. For example, I really hoped that by doing this project, I would be giving enough to others that it would somehow come back to me to make my own situation a little less miserable. I mean, in a lot of ways, it does come back because being nice to people clearly wins you friends and esteem, but I thought it would be sort of a quid pro quo where my life would get better in the ways I wanted it to get better. So far, nothing has really changed, but the lack of change in and of itself has made me move toward moving… and maybe if there are certain things in life we are meant to do, then the only way to signal us to make the needed change is through a lot of disconsolation until it reaches the point that you decide you have to really make big changes in your life. I guess we’ll see whether things change when I move. . .

Feb 17

I paid to erase my carbon footprint from my plane trip for vacation by buying carbon offsets.

Feb 18

I sent flowers to a friend who just had surgery.

Feb 19

I went out to get lunch (albeit with money she gave me) for a friend who was too busy at work to step out.

Days 98-100: Feb 14-16

365nicethings — Wed, 17 Feb 2010 04:35:23 +0000

Wow, day 100! I am almost 1/3 of the way through.

Feb 14

I gave money to a kid on the street trying to sell me things (but I didn’t want what he was selling!)

Feb 15

I gave a bunch of my clothes away before coming home.

Feb 16

I brought some gifts for co-workers back from vacation.